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About Uppsala

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit the road on Storgatan, right? It’s like the main drag, and I’m cruisin’ along, jamming to some tunes. Suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? Turns out, some dude decided to park his car on the sidewalk. I mean, c’mon, bro! This ain’t a parking lot! I was ready to jump out and give him a piece of my mind. But then I thought, “Nah, just breathe.”

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